Hang on kids, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lets Talk About Boobs

Or the lack of them as it is becoming. Seriously...they are disappearing!! I was a full D before I had surgery and have been between a C-D through my weight gains and losses through the years. I am a very full B as of now and I HATE it!! My husband acts as though he is going to cry when the topic comes up. I am down 52 lbs and still have 52 to go. What the hell am I going to be left with?! Now everyone always says "just buy new ones" and that will be an option, but that scares me at the same time. The idea of implants have always worried me. I don't want the pain, I don't want the potential complications, I don't want to wind up too big, but I want my old chest back. I posted this on my FB the other day and it couldn't have been more perfect for me!!

What are your thoughts on boob jobs? Have you had one yourself? Pros/cons? I am looking for real, hard core answers here. No need to tiptoe around the topic for me. Give me the good, the bad, and the ugly...just like I do here. I appreciate it more :-)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Back To The Gym

I woke my inactive butt up at 4:50 this morning and went to the gym. My hubby went with me too (even though I felt bad waking him up at 5:00) and that was nice. Felt like it was a few months ago when we went every morning...however, with my son having to be at school by 7:00 a.m., the workout has to be started an hour earlier. I remembered to start off slow since I haven't been to the gym in oh, 3 months. I only did cardio because I only have 45 min in the morning. When my husband starts his job (hopefully soon since he isn't earning anything and money is getting tight!), my son and I will be doing the gym thing in the evening when I get off work. Then I will have my normal 2 hrs to exercise. Since my son won't have football to keep him active in 2 weeks, back to the gym it is for him as well.

I find that I get bored with my workouts. I need to switch things up and do a class or two. I always here about Zumba and how much people love to do that. I used to do Body Pump class and LOVED that. I couldn't walk for 3 days after, but it was great for toning. I also used to do an ABS (Abdominal and Back Strength) class that REALLY worked that area and it was good. I'm not a big fan of kickboxing, not sure why. I love to swim and may start doing that again since I won't look too bad in my swimsuit now. My swim class that I did really helped me before my wedding...lost several inches just by swimming.

I really need to get busy on my arms. My right arm isn't too bad, but my left are is SO flabby looking. I have always had big arm so there is a lot of extra skin there and I don't want wings when I am done with my WL. Suggestions? Anyone have any great exercises to tighten up that area? I know I will have some skin issues, but I am trying to get as toned as possible to alleviate the issue.

So what is your favorite way to exercise? I need some new ideas!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

3rd Fill

Or maybe it can be counted as my 2nd since my actual 2nd fill was taken out. Today was shitty at the surgeon's office. I officially gained 2 lbs for the month. I was scolded for not working out. I expected it. They added .6 cc because 1 cc seemed to be a bit too much for me last time. Below is the spread at the doctor's office for my fill.
I feel the restriction with my little fill and I LOVE it. On liquids for the next 24 hrs and that usually jump starts my weight loss for the week.

I saw what my band & port looks like for the first time today. It is much bigger than I thought it would be. They had a nifty model stomach with the band wrapped around it in the room I had my fill done in. I snapped a few pictures so you can see what it actually looks like.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Ready For Tomorrow

I'm going in for a fill tomorrow and boy am I ready! I don't know if I will go for the full 1 cc but I will discuss it with the doctor tomorrow. My appetite is crazy. I can eat way more than the 4 oz I am supposed (and usually try to stop myself) to but I am also freaked out about being too tight like I was before. My snacking is way too much lately (mostly because of stress)...and I remember why I don't keep snacks in the house anymore. We went to the NASCAR truck races this weekend and of course, did the whole tailgating thing. So naturally we have a bunch of junk food in the house now. Need to get rid of it, and not through my stomach!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

20 Weeks Today

If I were pregnant I would say I was half baked. Since I am not pregnant (nor will I be) I will broadcast it here. My band 20 weeks today!! :-)

Almost 5 months since I had surgery. It doesn't seem like it should be even 2 months! Time has gone by so fast, and I realized this morning that I need to get my happy butt back to the gym because laying around at night isn't helping me hit my goals. I was happy to step on the scale and be back to what I weighed 3 weeks ago. There wasn't a huge difference that I could see in my pictures from last month to this month, but I decided to go ahead and post before and after from pre-surgery to this morning. I can definitely see a difference there! LOL. I will say that looking at by before pictures I am ashamed that I looked like that...that I let myself get to that. I never felt big. Ever. I thought I looked good, so I am happy that I had/have a high self esteem, because looking back now, I am shocked. I am the skinny girl trapped in a fat body.

*edit* I did go back and look at last month's pictures and there is a definite difference in my waist....how I don't know, but there is, so I will take it! :-)

Even though I didn't have the best comparison shot morning, I am still in a really good mood and I think that is because FINALLY my son played in most of his football game last night. They got spanked, but it was still awesome to see him out there on the offensive line...and he was SO happy that he played so much. I haven't seen him that happy all season! I'm such a proud mom!!!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


I am really not looking forward to doing my 20 week pictures tomorrow. I have lost very little weight since my 16 week pictures. I actually gained 6 lbs after my band unfilling 3 weeks ago and am still working on getting rid of it (it is amazing what happens when you can eat whatever you want again :-/). People keep asking me how much more I have lost because I "look" thinner, but I don't buy it. So I guess we will see what changes, if any, there are tomorrow morning.

Monday, October 10, 2011

My Band Has Mood Swings

It amazes me how day to day my band changes. For instance, when I was a little too tight, I could not eat scrambled eggs, but egg over medium were fine. I get 1 cc of fluid out of my band, I can eat scrambled eggs again. This morning, they got stuck. My body just likes to trip me out. I wish it would just make up its mind about what it does and doesn't want me to ingest.

I had an exciting experience last night. I tried on my wedding dress again and not only was I able to zip the sucker up all by myself (no sucking in required), but it is getting to be too big! I am going to have to have it altered before I do my Trash the Dress pictures (which I am doing the day after my husband's and my 4th anniversary). I was going to have a tear in it fixed already, but this is very exciting!! Could it be that 4 yrs after my wedding I will be a smaller "bride?"

Sunday, October 9, 2011

What A Difference A Football Season Makes

I pulled a shirt that I haven't worn since last football season because it was finally cool enough today to wear it. I love this shirt and it is getting to be too big. I had my son take a photo of my & my hubby wearing our shirts since our teams played each other today. I remembered that I took a photo with my mom's boyfriend last December when the Bears played my Vikings and found it on FB. Wow, what a difference. I will also add that I was sucking in for the picture from last year (and have a larger size of jeans on).

December, 2010

October, 2011

Friday, October 7, 2011

Let's Play "What Has Michelle Eaten Today?"

Or more like what HAVEN'T I eaten today. That is what it feels like, at least. I ran out of the house so I didn't eat breakfast. Mistake #1. Then I forgot my lunch on the island in my kitchen. Mistake #2. So at 10:30 my PIC and I went to Cafe Rio. We usually order something and share it just because the servings are so big there. Then, our law clerk passed the bar exam yesterday so we ordered pizza (Grimaldis..YUM!!) at 12:00 and I had 1/2 a slice, even though I wasn't hungry. I also picked up cupcakes and cookies for us to celebrate this afternoon. I feel like a heifer. I must be all recovered from my "too tight" episode before because I can definitely eat more than 3 oz and get hungry more often. Looks like I will be getting a .5cc fill in a couple of weeks because I have not lost anything since I had the previous fill taken out. In fact, I gained. I gained 6 lbs!! I know a lot of that was water because it is coming off every day, but still. The fact that I can actually drink water is a good thing, because it is helping to flush out my system. I have a sneaking suspicion that knowing my hubby is leaving at any time is fueling my extra eating too. Remember what I said about triggers? They are a big bitch.

We are starting back up at the gym this weekend and I know that will help, but it is still frustrating to do this to yourself. I have 16 week pictures to take in 1 week...I need to see a difference!! Gah!!