Looking Back

I have a long distance friend who is getting Lap Band today so I wanted to give a big shout out to her!! Good luck!! You're going to rock it!

With her getting surgery today, and she and I emailing each other last night, I was reflecting on how I felt the night before LB Day (Lap Band Day) and decided to look back at what I looked like the night before my surgery. I posted the pictures my mom took of me on the side of my blog. Holy shit. I need those to be there as a constant reminder of where I was and where I now am. Now, I will sit and bash my body day after day, but I have lost 65 lbs. I was heavier than I have EVER been when I finally made the decision to have surgery. 275 lbs is no laughing matter. Was I happy? Yes, but I was killing myself with food. I looked at the pictures and compared them to Saturday's pictures. I told my husband that I know he really does love me. When he asked where that came from, I responded that I can't believe he loved me when I was so heavy and obviously didn't love myself. I weigh less now than I did when we got married, but am 20 lbs away from what I weighed when we first met. How did I gain 85 lbs in 5 years? I can't even blame it on baby weight! I can make excuse after excuse, but no more. I am done with the excuses. Focus on the future baby.