Got some more bad news today (actually, 3 doses of it) and what is the first thing I went to? You got it. Food. My office has been pretty stressful the past 2 weeks and I think I have been doing pretty well, but today was intense. I ate my lunch at 11:30 like I usually do and waited my 1/2 hr to drink water. Made it 40 min past lunch and then I noticed the cookies. And I started to eat them. I wasn't hungry, but I started to eat them. I ate 1 1/2 and feel so sick. I didn't finish eating them because I recognized what I was doing and stopped...then the nausea set in. And then I cried (which is probably what I should have done in the first place).
For those of you who don't think this is difficult or that I took "the easy way out" of being overweight, think again. Changing your entire way of living and dealing with life is harder than I ever thought because I never really did it before (remember I pretended that I was before but I cheated like crazy on WW). The band is a tool. It does things to me so that I realize what I am doing. Boy oh boy I wasn't kidding when I said it was going to be a bumpy ride.
Hang in there girl. At least you see that the lapband is not an easy way out and it is only a tool. My mom has had her lapband for over a year now and you have lost more weight then her. She still eats the same crap she ate before the band and then complains about not loosing weight. You are on the right track. Just hang in there. If you need to kick those boys' butts and tell them they have to start eating healthy too. Love ya girl. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteThanks Crystal. Your support is extremely helpful during the hard times :-)
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