Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?

So this weekend we are staying with family in AZ. We had a family reunion yesterday, and even though I thought it would be tough to get through (you should have seen all the food!) it wasn't really that bad. I weighed out my chicken and corn and didn't even finish the corn. I did indulge in desserts but only ate off my husband's plate. I found myself looking around at everyone elses plates while sitting there eating my 4 oz., chewing & chewing and timing my eating, I felt a slight twinge of jealousy that everyone was able to stuff themselves as much as they wanted, but then realized that was stupid. That is what got me to 275 lbs.

But I enjoyed myself overall. I love my husband's cousins. We always have fun together and the stories that come out are a riot!! Today we are melting away. It is disgusting. I feel bloated and gross. I haven't been drinking enough water and that makes me feel even worse. I had my first meal at a restaurant (Mexican) and did really well. I ordered a side of fajita chicken and a side of guacamole. The chicken was almost exactly 3 oz (3.45 to be exact), I was shocked! I ate 3 chips with salsa while waiting for our food and ate 4 of my son's nachos. I was full but not overly stuffed. About an hour later I decided that we needed something sweet so we went to u-swirl for yogurt. Shared with the hubby again and ate more than 4 bites. It helped slightly to cool us off.

Then the stupid mistake came about. We went to Kohls so I could buy a swimsuit because we will be swimming at Granny's tomorrow and I left mine at home. Tip for you, do NOT go swimsuit shopping in July when you are having a "fat day" because it will send you spiraling into a funk that is no bueno. I am now all pissy. I am having a serious pity party here because I feel like a lard. I am irritated beyond belief because all of the 16W swimsuit bottoms are skirts. Really?! I do not want to go swimming in a dress. Sorry if you are offended by my cellulite and still fat thighs & hips but I am working on it. Do not try to put me in a burkini. But, I successfully found a long-torso suit that will last me the summer (and I will be honest, I hope that it is way too big soon!).

So now I sit here, chugging my water and watching my son & in-laws playing Mario Cart. I am feeling better now that I got all that off of my chest and will enjoy myself tomorrow in my new swimsuit while soaking in the pool before the long drive home.

Happy 4th everyone!!