Holiday Eating

Dude. I am getting out of control. I work in a law office so we have a lot of clients and other businesses that we work with who bring in goodies for us. Thank heavens it only happens once a year!! The past week is when allllllll of the holiday baskets and various other sinfully yummy treats have been coming in. Now, mind you I am at a point that I cannot eat bread, cake or soft mushy pastries, but cookies go down juuuust fine :-/ I baked over the weekend so this I know. What else have I discovered I can eat? Taffy, peanut brittle, cookies, cookies, cookies.

The scale has reflected my poor eating and lack of gym the past 2 weeks. Now my body is a bit crazy and can fluctuate day to day by as much as 5 lbs depending on various factors, but I am up 3 lbs in the past 2 weeks and I know it is because of my bad decisions when it comes to eating. I'm not hungry but I will graze. Big big NO NO!! I really do need to get back to where I was a few months back when I was losing like crazy and behaving myself. I would like a big heaping of self discipline for Christmas please!!

On a positive note, I am fitting into my smaller clothing that I bought at the beginning of the month. I am rocking my size 15/16 jeans and feel really good about myself when in them. Imagine how excited I will be when I go down to size 14! That is what I was wearing when I was at my smallest 7-8 yrs ago after losing 75 lbs (weighing 180ish). On Sunday after getting dressed, I was literally able to pull of my size 18's without unbuttoning them. My husband enjoyed that display. Little perv. LOL

Not sure if I will get on here again before Christmas, so I will take this time to wish a Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to all of you....may you have a blessed holiday!!!

Can You Tell Which Of These People Has Had Weight Loss Surgery?

Look very closely....which one looks like she took the "easy" way out?

Think you know? Well it was both of us. Meet my friend Patsi. She underwent weight loss surgery 22 months ago and has lost 140 lbs. Now she had a different procedure than I did (gastric sleeve) but she is HALF the person she was before her surgery. HALF!!! I tried to slouch down enough so I didn't look like a giant next to her, but it was no use with the 2 inch heels my boots had on them. Patsi was a huge supporter of mine when I thought about having surgery. She didn't judge, she didn't wonder why, she was simply a friend who listened and gave me her opinion. Now I had to post the comment about us taking the easy way out of things because we were discussing yesterday how this has been one of the hardest things we have gone through. Last night was our Las Vegas Slumber Parties Christmas party and what goes along with Christmas parties? FOOD! And lots of it. We do potluck style and there was a ton of it. Patsi and I are limited to the amount of food we can eat so obviously things like that can be a bummer. I find myself looking around at other people's plates now wherever I am. I am not judging, I am just looking. Would I have loved to pile up food on my plate like others were able to? Uh, yeah. Could I? Uh, no. Did I overdo it a little bit? Yup. Even taking a little bit of everything doesn't work for me because when there is a large variety of food around, that little bit adds up to way too much. But it was fun.

We always do a gift exchange at our party but do the cut throat version where you can steal anything up to 3 times. It is more challenging that way. LOL. Anyway, I am ALWAYS first or second and get screwed over multiple times so I was super excited when I drew the last number. Hahahahahaaaa. Finally vengeance would be mine! I got to watch everyone open up gifts and only 1 thing was not available for theft. Well I stole from one of the girls but she stole from her mom and then her mom stole her item back. Bitches. ;-) So I was scanning the room for what I could steal when I was persuaded to open the last gift that was available. I did and opened up this
I LOVE it. And it just so happened to be the gift that Patsi brought. It was meant to be :-)

Dare I Say It?

Since I am nervous to say it out loud I will whisper. *I think I hit my sweet spot* Shhhhh.

Now for the non-bandster, what does that mean? The fill I got last week created the ideal amount of restriction that I need to have. I am satisfied at 3 oz of food again. I am filling up by drinking my protein shake in the morning and/or evening. It is amazing. It is exciting. It is liberating. ;-). I can't believe how invigorating it is to NOT want to eat so much. I am no longer a slave to food. I will repeat that every single day. I will shout it from the rooftop!!! YAY!!!!! Now if only I can get out of bed in the morning to go to the gym again......

More From Trash The Dress

I have had these for a few weeks and forgot to post them, since I know some of you wanted to see more. These are unedited, but I think my mom's boyfriend did a terrific job! We went to Nelson's Landing which is just 25 min south of Las Vegas (on the way to Laughlin). Definitely a must see when you are in Vegas! It was really a great time...who knew walking around a ghost town in my wedding dress would be so much fun! It was a wonderful way to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary :-) (They uploaded backwards, but I am too tired to fix them tonight)

28 Weeks (With Pictures)

Yesterday I learned something about my band....it is a LOT more full than I thought it was. I must have misunderstood what I was told during my 2nd fill because I thought I was at 3cc after my 2nd fill (meaning she put in 1cc). No. She put in 3cc so I was actually at 5cc in my band. Holy shit! No wonder I was getting stuck all the time! So when I went in because of the issues I was having, she took out 1cc so I was at 4cc. Last month I got .6cc and yesterday .4cc so I am back up to 5cc in my 10cc band. However, he doesn't expect that I will have the issues I did before because I am 25 lbs lighter, so I have less fat around my stomach.

I weighed in this morning at UNDER 215 so I am super excited that I have officially lost 60 lbs. Sweet!! Only 50 more to go! ;-)

Here are my comparison pictures...sorry again that last month's were so dark!! My tummy looks funny because of the drawstring on my pants and I think I look lumpy, but other than that, I'm happy with this month's results :-)

Barefoot Blue Jean Night

I have had this song in my head all day because I have heard it at least 4 times today. So catchy you can't help but sing it. Plus it is the topic of today's blog :-)

Yesterday was my 35th birthday and we had a good day. Started it at the DMV since I forgot that my drivers license expired on my birthday, but fortunately I have a terrific contact at the DMV and it makes everything much easier, so we were in and out in about 20 min. Sweet! We had a great lunch at P.F. Changs (their chicken lettuce wraps are to die for!) and today I had a nice surprise on the scale. 217. So close to 60 lbs lost for good! My P.I.C. and I decided we are going to do a "liquid diet" next week because of how many treats are going to be coming into the office...they have already started. We both need a kick in the pants with our weight loss and I know that I can do liquids. For me that means 2-3 shakes or soup plus one meal. I also have a fill on Tuesday and will be on liquids for that 24 hr period, might as well extend it to push me past my 60 lb mark.

The NFR (Nat'l Finals Rodeo) is always this time of year and it is fun to see all of the cowboys in town. I am still hoping to be able to score some tickets to the rodeo because it is awesome to watch! Today we went to the Cowboy Christmas at the convention center and it was a blast. I haven't been to it in years and spent a little over 3 hrs there with my family. I plan on having a "rustic" themed living room and got some great ideas and contacts for my decor. My mom and I stopped in one of the clothing booths and tried on lots of super cute jeans. Blingy butt jeans as I call them. I haven't ever had a pair because I never wanted to draw attn to my rear end. My mom bought a couple cute pair and she looks awesome in them. I am determined to end up with a butt as cute as hers by the end of my journey...she is pretty damn hot for a 58 yr old! :-) I bought 2 pair myself because of the deal they had on them and because I feel comfortable enough to now flaunt a bedazzled booty. Check them out....and the size I was able to buy!!

YAY!!! Happy Birthday to Me!! For someone who started this in a size 22W, this is beyond exciting!

They are a bit tight, as are the other size 16's I bought, but another 10 lbs gone and they will be perfect...so I have faith that I will be in them comfortably by the new year. My "muffin top" is already less noticeable in the 15/16's I bought today than it was in the 16's I tried on on Black Friday. Very motivating! I have also scored some really good deals at Kohls the past week. All items in a large and/or size 16. I am losing at a slow and steady pace so I don't worry about "stocking up" on items. Between sales, discounts, Kohls cash and a birthday gift card I have gotten 1 sweater, 3 tops, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of dress slacks and a skirt for only $40. SUHWEET!! It helps to have awesome deals when you are trying to restock your wardrobe. I have given several items away but I think I am going to start posting various pieces of clothing that I have available on here, so that will be something I start in the next few weeks. I know others can benefit from my old clothes, and then my husband won't be mad when I bring home new items ;-)

Hope you all have a great week!!

6 Month Bandiversary

6 months. SIX MONTHS!!!! A half year ago I underwent the most frightening thing I have yet to go through (yes, including childbirth). Today where am I? Let's see. I am off of the medications I was taking (Metformin & high blood pressure meds). I am 57 lbs lighter. I am 4-6 clothing sizes smaller than I was. Along with the excess weight I have lost so far I have lost a good portion of my boobs, but I am dealing with that. I FEEL and look so much better!!! I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans at Kohl's at 12:30 a.m. on Black Friday and they buttoned, zipped AND I was able to breathe in them. They do still provide a lovely little muffin top, but it will go away soon. I bought those suckers and told my husband to wrap them up for me for Christmas because that is all I want is to fit into them comfortably!

I am attaching 2 photos. The first photo is me at my highest weight 3 weeks before surgery and the second is me yesterday.

This is me at 275 (being silly at a baseball game with my P.I.C.):

And this was me yesterday (with my purple .22):
I am rocking the http://www.danielmeyerblog.com/ t-shirt in a size large, thank you very much...and it is roomy! BTW, please check out our friend Dan's website. He is a former co-worker of my husband's (Air Force) who has a very rare lung disease caused by his exposure to the burn pits in Iraq and Afghanistan. We are working hard to get information about his condition out so that we can get those who are ignoring these troops being affected by this to do something about it so that no one else has to suffer. If you wouldn't mind sharing with others, it would be greatly appreciated. He is a great guy who deserves to have a long life with his beautiful wife and family.

I still have 53 lbs to lose to be at my goal weight. I still have 6 months before I hit my 1 year mark. I got this!! My next goal is to be comfortably in a size 16 by Christmas, and then I want to be at 210 by New Years (2012 will be a GREAT year for me...especially when I reach onederland for the first time in 6 yrs!). Seeing how much has happened in the first six months makes me very excited to see what I am able to accomplish in the next six months.

I hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving! I was unable to eat 1/4 of what I usually eat on this holiday but still enjoyed myself all the same! :-D

Finally!!

After fighting them for 4 weeks, I broke through the 220's!! I weighed in today at 218....it has been 4 1/2 years since I weighed that. What an exciting achievement!! I have dropped 5 lbs in the past 2 weeks by actually eating like I am supposed to, imagine that. I totally forgot about my appt on Thursday with the surgeon's office, so I won't be getting another fill before Thanksgiving. The next time they could get me in is on December 8th (yes, they are THAT busy) so I will be going though my b-day with no fill as well....but Christmas will be limiting :-)

I am going to venture out and try on some size 16 jeans this weekend. I would have thought that having lost 57 lbs I would have lost more sizes than I have, but I guess I didn't have it in my head that I had been actually wearing 20W-22W's (W=an addition 1/2 size). I would still try to squeeze into my 18's and, if they buttoned, they fit in my head, no matter how bad they looked on me. I have some 18's that are huge on me and some that are still muffin top providing, so it will be interesting to see what happens. I told my mom that all I want for my birthday/Christmas is a pair of size 16's that fit perfectly....14's would be even more perfect but I know I need to work towards those. LOL. It is funny, when I weighed 180-190 I fit into 14's but they were really tight....but some people I know who weigh more than that can fit into 12's or 10's. Guess that just shows how different labels and bodies are. Can't wait for that next size down though!!

Have a fantabulous weekend!!!

Trashin' My Dress

So it isn't my "official" Trash the Dress session that I did yesterday, but it was a great practice run!! I plan to do my official TTD pics when I hit my goal weight in the summer. Then I can do some great water shots in my dress as well...FUN!!

My husband and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on Thursday (11/10) and I have wanted to do a TTD session for years, but I finally fit into my wedding dress again and was ready to go. So, with 11/11/11 being a big wedding day here (and my anniversary the day before) I figured, why not! I want to wear my wedding dress again on 11/11/11! ;-)

Yesterday we went out to Nelson's Landing to get some pictures because none of us had ever been there before. It is GREAT out there!! If you live in Vegas and haven't ever gone, you need to go. If you visit Vegas, it is about 30 miles south of town and is so cool!!! Totally worth the trip and it will only take you about 3 hrs total with driving and walking around. It was a big mining town back in the day and is the perfect backdrop for some original photos with the old buildings, mines, cars, trucks, buses and the plane!

My mom's boyfriend played photographer and my sister will be doing editing on them because she is a freaking artist when it comes to editing photos. I have a couple of the unedited photos to give you a sneak peak and a better understanding of what we did. When I have the others I will put them on here for you to see!! Enjoy!!

24 Weeks....and 1 day (With Pics!)

Sorry this is late, I was busy all day yesterday with my mini Trash the Dress session. It was SO fun!! I will post about that next :-)

24 weeks since surgery, WOW!! Don't I say that every month? I can't believe I am almost 6 months out. I need to adjust my eating habits again because I have been fighting the same 2 lbs for the past few weeks. Sucks to be drawn back into bad eating, but at least I recognize it and am trying to get back on track. I need to straighten up if I hope to be down 100 lbs by the 1 year mark!! So below are my 24 week photos (sorry they are so dark!!) compared to last month. I notice small changes here and there, but mostly that my waist seems to be bigger than last month. I don't know if it is because the shirt isn't skin tight anymore or if it because (I noticed) my hips are finally getting smaller so it doesn't look as dramatic. Not sure, all I know is my butt is finally getting smaller (which makes me happy), but my boobs are continuing to get smaller (which makes me sad). Oh well, I will take the losses I get!! Hope you have a great weekend!

Bad Bad Blogger

I know, I know. I suck at this currently. Please bear with me, there has been a LOT going on in my life lately. My hubby was supposed to be starting his new job but it has been pushed back until January because of Obama and his campaigning move of pulling the troops out of Iraq. The contractors who are currently in Iraq need to be relocated and unfortunately, until that is all done, my husband will be sitting on the sidelines and wait to start his new job. To call is stressful is an understatement. My income is not enough to keep us afloat, but fortunately I have my business to bring more money to the household as well. I can say, however, that with as much stress as I have been going through, I have NOT turned to food to comfort me. That is a HUGE accomplishment for me!!

The gym has been a really good outlet and helps me to clear my head. I think being able to completely exhaust myself helps too...then I can sleep at night :-) I hit my 2nd 10% goal last week AND crossed the line of having less to lose than I have already lost. It is exciting to have started the downhill battle. My next 10% goal is 200 lbs but I am going to combine it with hitting "onederland" and shoot for 199 by the end of January. I have not weighed that since 2006. I can't believe it has been so long...it seems like it was just a year ago! I have set little goals for the end of the year too. My 6 month mark will happen this month and I want to be down at least 60 lbs. I want to be fitting into a 16 by Christmas. I know for these to happen I need to keep eating like I have been the past 2 weeks and keep up the work at the gym. And I WON'T be disappointed in myself if I don't hit these goals. I really need to pound that in my head. But I will be certainly pushing to get to them :-)

I hope to blog a little more frequent, but in case I don't again this weekend, I will be posting for sure next Friday for my 24 week pictures!

Lets Talk About Boobs

Or the lack of them as it is becoming. Seriously...they are disappearing!! I was a full D before I had surgery and have been between a C-D through my weight gains and losses through the years. I am a very full B as of now and I HATE it!! My husband acts as though he is going to cry when the topic comes up. I am down 52 lbs and still have 52 to go. What the hell am I going to be left with?! Now everyone always says "just buy new ones" and that will be an option, but that scares me at the same time. The idea of implants have always worried me. I don't want the pain, I don't want the potential complications, I don't want to wind up too big, but I want my old chest back. I posted this on my FB the other day and it couldn't have been more perfect for me!!


What are your thoughts on boob jobs? Have you had one yourself? Pros/cons? I am looking for real, hard core answers here. No need to tiptoe around the topic for me. Give me the good, the bad, and the ugly...just like I do here. I appreciate it more :-)

Back To The Gym

I woke my inactive butt up at 4:50 this morning and went to the gym. My hubby went with me too (even though I felt bad waking him up at 5:00) and that was nice. Felt like it was a few months ago when we went every morning...however, with my son having to be at school by 7:00 a.m., the workout has to be started an hour earlier. I remembered to start off slow since I haven't been to the gym in oh, 3 months. I only did cardio because I only have 45 min in the morning. When my husband starts his job (hopefully soon since he isn't earning anything and money is getting tight!), my son and I will be doing the gym thing in the evening when I get off work. Then I will have my normal 2 hrs to exercise. Since my son won't have football to keep him active in 2 weeks, back to the gym it is for him as well.

I find that I get bored with my workouts. I need to switch things up and do a class or two. I always here about Zumba and how much people love to do that. I used to do Body Pump class and LOVED that. I couldn't walk for 3 days after, but it was great for toning. I also used to do an ABS (Abdominal and Back Strength) class that REALLY worked that area and it was good. I'm not a big fan of kickboxing, not sure why. I love to swim and may start doing that again since I won't look too bad in my swimsuit now. My swim class that I did really helped me before my wedding...lost several inches just by swimming.

I really need to get busy on my arms. My right arm isn't too bad, but my left are is SO flabby looking. I have always had big arm so there is a lot of extra skin there and I don't want wings when I am done with my WL. Suggestions? Anyone have any great exercises to tighten up that area? I know I will have some skin issues, but I am trying to get as toned as possible to alleviate the issue.

So what is your favorite way to exercise? I need some new ideas!!

3rd Fill

Or maybe it can be counted as my 2nd since my actual 2nd fill was taken out. Today was shitty at the surgeon's office. I officially gained 2 lbs for the month. I was scolded for not working out. I expected it. They added .6 cc because 1 cc seemed to be a bit too much for me last time. Below is the spread at the doctor's office for my fill.
I feel the restriction with my little fill and I LOVE it. On liquids for the next 24 hrs and that usually jump starts my weight loss for the week.

I saw what my band & port looks like for the first time today. It is much bigger than I thought it would be. They had a nifty model stomach with the band wrapped around it in the room I had my fill done in. I snapped a few pictures so you can see what it actually looks like.

Ready For Tomorrow

I'm going in for a fill tomorrow and boy am I ready! I don't know if I will go for the full 1 cc but I will discuss it with the doctor tomorrow. My appetite is crazy. I can eat way more than the 4 oz I am supposed (and usually try to stop myself) to but I am also freaked out about being too tight like I was before. My snacking is way too much lately (mostly because of stress)...and I remember why I don't keep snacks in the house anymore. We went to the NASCAR truck races this weekend and of course, did the whole tailgating thing. So naturally we have a bunch of junk food in the house now. Need to get rid of it, and not through my stomach!!

20 Weeks Today

If I were pregnant I would say I was half baked. Since I am not pregnant (nor will I be) I will broadcast it here. My band 20 weeks today!! :-)

Almost 5 months since I had surgery. It doesn't seem like it should be even 2 months! Time has gone by so fast, and I realized this morning that I need to get my happy butt back to the gym because laying around at night isn't helping me hit my goals. I was happy to step on the scale and be back to what I weighed 3 weeks ago. There wasn't a huge difference that I could see in my pictures from last month to this month, but I decided to go ahead and post before and after from pre-surgery to this morning. I can definitely see a difference there! LOL. I will say that looking at by before pictures I am ashamed that I looked like that...that I let myself get to that. I never felt big. Ever. I thought I looked good, so I am happy that I had/have a high self esteem, because looking back now, I am shocked. I am the skinny girl trapped in a fat body.

*edit* I did go back and look at last month's pictures and there is a definite difference in my waist....how I don't know, but there is, so I will take it! :-)

Even though I didn't have the best comparison shot morning, I am still in a really good mood and I think that is because FINALLY my son played in most of his football game last night. They got spanked, but it was still awesome to see him out there on the offensive line...and he was SO happy that he played so much. I haven't seen him that happy all season! I'm such a proud mom!!!