I Have Been Avoiding the Scale

And for good reason. After the unfill and gallbladder issue was all better I was able to eat whatever I wanted...amd I did just that. I don't stop when I should. I don't even stop when I feel full. It is like old Michelle all over again. Going back for a fill on Monday. I can't wait. After being so successful and getting down to 189 (and admittedly hovering around 193), I stepped on the scale this morning and read 204. 204!!!! 11 lbs in a MONTH! Holy shit. Focus is what I need and focus is what I have lost. I need to focus. Focus. I also need to blog....and stop cooking like I am Julia Child.

Why Does My Gallbladder Hate Me?

It has been a rough week, let me tell you. I go fromnot being able to eat or drink at the beginning of the week to wanting to cut out some of my insides at the end of the week. I am going through a gallbladder attack and it truly sucks. I don't know when it is "serious" enough to have to see a doctor. I can function...it just sucks being in constant pain until it decides to calm down. So I am curious, how many of you have experienced similar issues following surgery?

Here I Sit, Waiting to Be Fixed.

Yup, at the surgeon's office because I can't keep water down today. Little bit of a red flag. The heartburn has been wicked!! However, pleasant surprise to see 195 on the scale at the doctor's office....which is notoriously higher than normal scales AND fully clothed!! Silver lining to an otherwise uncomfortable day. Stay tuned :-)

So Irritated

I am so irritated...literally and figuratively. My band is being a real bitch. I don't know if it is stress or if it is traveling every weekend, but man oh man am I TIGHT!!! I like restriction, but not to the point that I am PBing every single day. Sure, it is great for osing weight (no, not really...starving yourself is not the way to go), but I want to eat!!! I have discovered of all things, Chick-Fil-A chicken and shakes go down just fine. Very moist chicken and apparently I savor it enough that I am chewing it to nothing. Shakes go down just fine no matter what. LOL. Oh, and TGI Friday's cheddar bacon potato skin chips...those go down too. Lettuce? Eggs? Nope. So healthy in my eating right? Today I am doing liquids, so soup and water it is. I am contemplating going in to see my doctor to get a slight unfill. I was at my sweet spot and doing great until this started a few weeks ago. Flying every weekend and the stress that goes along with being separated from my family is getting the best of me, I guess. It will be beautiful when this year of travel is over. On a happier note, the weight loss is still going. I got the lovely little surprise of 189 on the scale last week. And in other exciting news, my SIL got engaged and will be married in Nov!! So excited for her and having a lot of fun helping in her wedding planning. I bought my dress already and was beyond stoked when I was forced to get a size medium!! I kind of love Vera Wang for the fact I fit into a size medium in her clothing. I have been wearing size medium tops and dresses in other brands, but Vera had been holding out on me. Now to work my arms for the next few months to make them sleeveless friendly.

Back on the Downward Slope

With the move finished, I am actually able to cook and eat as I should. 4 weeks of eating out every meal SUCKS!! Especially when you are trying to lose weight. Now yes, there were healthy options I could have chosen, but I went the cheap route. If I never eat Taco Bell again (for at least 2 months), it will be too soon. So tired of it!!!

It is so amazing to be able to enjoy a healthy dinner and not have to worry about packing, painting or cleaning. Well, I'm helping to clean my mom's house and still transporting things from Vegas to Mesa but my stress level has dropped 90%. First drive down to AZ with a load of things that were left will be this weekend. I can't wait to actually be able to use my cooking supplies and am ESPECIALLY excited to do my Bountiful Baskets again! Yay for veggies and fruit!! Yay for healthy cooking and eating! Yay for having my kitchen stuff....on the weekends.

Short blog entry tonight, but I did want to share that after 3 months of not seeing the scale move from between 200-203, look at the treat I got to experience yesterday! :-)

I'm Baaaaaaaaack!!

I know, really? A month to blog? I promise I wanted to, but I have been sooooooo busy. Things are FINALLY calming down some. We are all moved out of our house in Las Vegas and are actually moving into our house in Mesa this weekend. I will post pictures when I get down there tomorrow and actually see it. Yes, me, the control freak of all control freaks, allowed my husband and son to pick out our home in AZ. The pictures look nice, however, and I am excited to move things in and decorate. It will be my "weekend vacation home" since I am staying in Las Vegas until next summer.

On the weight loss front, there isn't much to report. I ate out every single day for a month. I am so tired of takeout food. I miss my fresh meals and fruits & veggies. However, I didn't gain anything which is a very good thing. But I didn't lose either. I am holding steady at 200 lbs, which means I still have 30 to go. Since I am now living with my mom I will get more opportunities to exercise because she built on an exercise room to her house that was finished up right before all of the packing of my house started. YAY!! Working out at home in an actual gym is going to be awesome! No excuses, right? Right, because I have weight and inches to lose!!

I will be blogging regularly from now on and will post pictures again because it really does help hold me accountable in my journey. Sorry for the lagging posts, but my life was beyond crazy for about 2 months :-) No posting this weekend because I will be loving on my family and setting up house. Hope you have a great one and I will be back next week!!

I Feel Like I Have Abandoned My Blog

I swear it is unintended! I have been so incredibly busy the past month that I have to remind myself to breathe! Where to start, my goodness. My husband accepted a new job with Boeing in AZ shortly after he started working in OR. He decided to go with them because of several reasons. More money, closer to home and near his family. So, I have spent the past month packing, cleaning, painting and preparing our house for a move! My husband and son are already in AZ but I am staying in Vegas for a while. I got an amazing job offer that I could NOT pass up, so I am with another firm doing personal injury and did.not realize how good it could actually be working at a law office! My boss is so unbelievably generous and actually recognizes and rewards his staff for a job well done. What a concept! I will be traveling to AZ every weekend to be with my husband and son, and during the week will live with my mom here in LV. I have had some more tragedy in my life as well, unfortunately. On May 18th I received the horrible news that one of my best friends had passed away. She was actually the biggest supporter of mine when I made the decision to have WLS as she had GBS 6 yrs ago. Kelly was amazing, fun loving and a fabulous woman. I miss her dearly...not a day goes by that I don't think of her or want to call/text her about something. Life is fragile, that is for sure. I will not be blogging regularly until the move is complete, but I did want to update everyone so you didn't think I fell off the face of the Earth. I just have a million things happening in my life right now. Take care and I will be back soon!

1 YEAR BANDIVERSARY!!!

It has been a year. It has been a WHOLE YEAR!! I have gone through a massive transformation in the 365 days...and I am not done yet! I am down officially 75 lbs since the beginning of my journey. I had some slip-ups along the way but that was completely expected. Why? Because I am human and not perfect. I do not regret making the decision I did. Not one little bit. I did NOT take the easy way out....I changed my entire way of living to become a healthier me and I am so happy with the new me!! I am healthier both physically and mentally. I did not like myself before I had surgery. Sure I put up a good front and of course I loved myself, but I didn't like the physical being I was. My health is wonderful, my attitude, while it was always good, is even better, and my relationship with my husband has even been affected in a positive way since I started my journey. We do more together, we go out more and our marriage is that much stronger! You never realize how being unhappy with yourself affects those around you. I have a couple of pictures posted to show the physical difference. Thank you everyone for all of the support, kind words and inspiration you have provided to me the past year. Thank you to my family for helping me with my journey. Thank you to my friends for being there for me. Here is to the next year and me hitting my ultimate goal weight of 170!!

April 2011

April 2012

Bring on the Restriction!

I had to call my surgeon's office on Monday because I was in such desperate need of a fill. Went in yesterday and what should have been a simple 20 minute appt turned into an hour and a half ordeal. Stepped on the scale and it read 206...which made me want to cry, of course. However my BP was 90/68 and my pulse was in the high 60's. Freaking AWESOME! My resting heart rate used to always be 90+. The PA came in and we talked about what my goal weight was. I told her I want to be at 170 and she said that sounded good, but not to be surprised if when I hit 170 I decide I want to be 5-10 lbs lower. Since I am now a case pay patient I can go in as often as I need for fills, so I will go back in 2 weeks for another one. They took out 3cc last appt (when I was so swollen I couldn't even keep water down) so this time they put 1cc back in. I don't feel any real difference today so the next one should do something, but they will only do .5cc at a time from now on until I hit my sweet spot again.

The poor PA who was trying to do my fill was not having any luck with finding where to stick my port. We would think she got it but then nope. She tried for about 10 minutes the first time and then only tried twice the second stick. She was so apologetic and was afraid she was hurting me but I told her after surgery, nothing will be considered too painful to me when it comes to my abdominal area :-) She did have to go get Brian, who is the PA I usually have, and he got it the first time. He said she was right there but just being a millimeter off with the angle will get you. I felt bad for her because she has been having a rough week with ports. LOL

Came back to work feeling pretty good. Drank my smoothie and then had nothing but water the rest of the day. My husband made dinner for he and our boy but I wanted to stab him for waiting until I got home to do it...especially since I worked late. The smell was killing me so I went to bed at 8:00. However, you always forget how much you lose when you are on liquids only for 24 hrs. I was down to 202 this morning. I will be happy when I am under 200 again and working my way down to my goal weight.

I found out the other day that my gym membership isn't up until June, so I am not sure why I was thinking April. NO EXCUSES!! Even if it is just doing Zumba in my family room, I need to get moving again. I wanted to be at 100 lbs lost by my 1 year but I will settle for whatever I have because I would have earned that. It will still be considerably less than I was a year ago!

Boy Oh Boy

I have been avoiding the scale....a LOT. For someone who would weigh herself every day, you know that is big. Why have I been avoiding it? Because I know how I have been eating...and how much I have been eating. I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 206. 206!!!! I have gained 7 POUNDS since my emergency unfill. Holy shit!

I called and set up an appointment to get in on Wednesday to get some restriction again. I am so disappointed with myself. I can't believe I let that happen. I haven't been weighing my food, just guesstimating what I am eating, and I am eating whenever I get the urge...which is every couple of hours. I miss not being hungry for 5-6 hours at a time. I don't miss getting stuck, but it is reality check time. I am a month away from my 1 year bandiversary and haven't gotten to where I want to be. My eating sucks the past few weeks (I say new job stress), my gym membership expired yesterday (which I haven't used in over 6 months!!) and I need to get it together!

On a positive note, we are getting some awesome deals from our Bountiful Baskets and I canned for the first time yesterday! We added 25 lbs of carrots and 25 lbs of Roma tomatoes to our order this past week. I didn't realize just how many carrots are in 25 lbs. Holy monkey. I canned 10 pints of them and the hubby has dehydrated probably 10 lbs. We are still left with 10 lbs and getting creative in using them up! My tomatoes aren't ripe enough to use for sauce and canning, but I can't wait for them to be ready so I can try these yummy recipes! I am liking the idea of actually knowing what is in my food now, so I am going to be doing more things like this. I'm making brussel sprouts for dinner tonight, so wish me luck!

Ham Detox

Happy Belated Easter to all! I had a very laid back, easy going day. Those are quickly becoming my favorite types of holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love having family and friends together for special days, but it is equally as nice to have just the 3 of us (or 6 if you count the dogs) together for the day.

I cooked a honey glazed ham, southern green beans (OMG) and mashed sweet potatoes. I was channeling the cooking skills of a 55 yr old southern woman yesterday. It was all pretty incredible though! The green beans and potatoes in the the southern green beans were from our Bountiful Basket as well as the sweet potatoes. And let me tell you something, those were the most flavorful and tasty sweet potatoes I have ever had!! I LOVE our Bountiful Baskets! However today I am paying for the eating yesterday. Not that I overdid it, but just what I ate. You forget that ham blows you up like a balloon with all of the sodium in it! I have been drinking like a camel today to flush it all out...but since we are having leftovers for dinner tonight it may not matter ;-)

I Can BLOG Again!!

I was prevented from doing so for a few weeks at the old office. Yup, I am now at a new job and feel wonderful about it!! Working with a really nice sole practitioner and there is NO drama. It is a beautiful thing!! I am learning all there is to know about criminal law, which is something I have never done in 12 yrs of being a paralegal, so it is new and exciting! My work days fly by and I am half the distance to my house :-) Hubby spent a few weeks down in TX and came home last Friday with his A&P license, so he is scurrying to find a job now. Hoping something happens for him quickly!

On the weight loss front, it is on hiatus. I can eat anything. I have ZERO restriction since they fixed me by taking out 3 cc when I wasn't able to consume anything. Does that mean I am eating anything and everything? No. I am restraining myself. I am holding off on going back in for a fill because I will be a cash pay patient now. What is cool is that I pay $175 and I am good for 3 months. I can go in as many times as I want. I just don't have the extra money until my husband starts working, so it is all on me to behave and not eat everything in sight. But it is weird to be able to eat and not worry about getting stuck. Like, for instance, I am enjoying a lovely wet bean & cheese burrito from Roberto's for lunch today. I have only eaten 1/3 of it because I am full, but the tortilla goes right down. So for now I am not losing weight, but I am also not gaining so that makes me happy. I have been doing some working out finally and tried my Zumba Wii game. Holy crap does that work you out! I was sore from dancing. DANCING!! I may not be losing weight for now, but I am fitting into some 14's and that makes up for it. I haven't been in 14's since my son was 6 (so 8 yrs)!!

Anywhoodles, I hope to get back on here on a regular basis again. I think I have progress pictures that I am supposed to do tomorrow and am not really looking forward to that, but oh well. I will probably spend the next week catching up on everyone else's posts, but it is good to be back!

Adventures In Cheese Waxing

I have said on here before that I am somewhat of a "prepper." Not prepping for a certain event, just being prepared for what may come in the future. As we have seen the past year, you never know how your family can be affected by things that happen in the world. I have done food storage for almost 4 yrs now and it came in very handy for my family during difficult financial times. I am also making more band friendly decisions in my food storage for me to be able to eat what we have stored! No rice, bread or pasta for me, so I am getting more creative :-) So I have followed in the footsteps of the Preparedness Pro (LOVE her) and started making more shelf stable food for my pantry that I can actually eat. I have already preserved dozens of eggs to make them shelf stable, but today my mom and I waxed cheese. It was a little more work than I thought it would be, but it is super cool! I have 13 lbs to do and did 6 today. Some things I would have done differently? Used more wax and/or a less wide and deeper bowl for dipping. Since I don't have an actual double boiler I just did a metal bowl in a big pot. I needed more depth. Here are some photos of our cheese waxing day!

Sometimes I Wonder....

Is it too much to ask?

A Week Late. 41 Weeks Post-Op (With Pictures)

I was so wrapped up with NASCAR last week that I forgot to do my 40 week photos! I definitely see the difference between last month and this month, so that makes me happy. I finally saw 199 on the scale 2 weeks ago and that thrilled me to no end. I have also had people telling me the past week how I look like I have lost so much more weight. According to the doctor's office this morning it has only been 7 lbs in the past month, but it is all good! This month on top, last month on the bottom! (Pardon my bra straps all over the place)

Emergency Unfill

I can't eat!! Haven't been able to for 2 days. I have been getting stuck a lot the past few weeks but it has gotten so bad that I finally admit defeat and am going in to see my doctor. Fix me!!

NASCAR Recap

We had SO much fun this past weekend! You always forget how exhausting a weekend out at the track is though. My driver came in 6th on Sunday which made me happy! Danica didn't crash on Saturday which made my husband happy. LOL.

I didn't eat a whole lot because, well, I couldn't. I got stuck each day we were out there. I ate shrimp too fast on Friday, took too big of bites of my brat (that was cut up like a child's) on Saturday and couldn't eat the ribs on Sunday, which broke my heart. However, we did lots of walking and lots of step climbing. No alcohol for any of us the entire weekend and it was still a blast!

I remembered that my son and I had a photo taken last year so I had my mom do another one this year. The second one is farther away, but you can see the point I am making. Not only is my son 8 inches taller, but I think I look a little better :-)

Good Thing I Am 75 Pounds Lighter

My poor hubby. He went on a guys camp out on Saturday and our son & I met them out there on Sunday morning for a day of outdoorsy fun. It was a beautiful day out here in the desert except for the wind, so I stayed bundled up for most of the time we were out there. Did some shooting, discovered a new gun that I want (The Judge!) and went riding the quads. Hubby and I went out together and we had a whoopsie moment. That would be, I dumped us off of the quad. Whoops. He was holding onto me so when he went off, that took me with him. He fell about 5 feet flat onto his back and I came down as well. I tried to use my hand to break my fall on the ground, but fell onto him after that. I also kept my feet planted against the quad to keep it from rolling over on us. Poor guy. Granted I have lost a lot of weight, but that was still 200 lbs of wife that came crashing down on him after his fall. To say he is sore is an understatement. I was stiff getting out of bed yesterday morning so I KNOW he is hurting :-/

This week is a quick one for me. It is NASCAR week!! This is a weekend we plan for for about 4 months. I LOVE NASCAR weekend. It is fun, it is exciting and it is freaking exhausting! This will be my first "dry" NASCAR weekend. I usually drink about 8-10 beers a day, starting at 7:00 a.m. Since I can't drink beer anymore, I guess I will remember most of this weekend! :-D I'll post photos on Monday!

Drumroll Please

Wait for it......

Wait for it......



Yes that is a ONE as the first number of my weight. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! Now to get a few more numbers below that so I have some cushion between onederland and 200. 9 months and 75 lbs down!!

Hey, You There, PBing on I-40

Yup, that was me. On the 7 hr drive home from where we laid our niece to rest I got stuck. I got stuck on the last few bites of my lunch 5 min before we left town and made it about 2 hrs before I finally had to PB. Pulled over at the Geromino place on I-40 where I promptly ran into the store and asked for their restroom. I was told that it had just been cleaned so it was closed, but the next exit had a truck stop. Uh yeah, that wasn't going to work...so I ended up PBing in their parking lot. Didn't really have a choice. Get back on the road and I still wasn't feeling that great. Drive 3 hrs more and had to do the same thing in Kingman. I was stuck for 5 hours. I think that is a record. After the 2nd episode I had a horrible headache so I took a Tylenol....and got stuck on it. I am really hoping I didn't do any damage to myself because I am having the hardest time eating solids. I am sticking to liquids for the next day or so in the hopes that I will allow the swelling to go down and be able to eat again.

On a positive, I WILL be under 200 for NASCAR weekend next weekend. I was 201.9 on Sunday, the day before my 9 month bandiversary. 73 lbs gone! Holy moly!!! I can't wait for that sweet, sweet number starting with a 1 to appear on the scale.

Because We All Need A Laugh

My "old lady" Silky got busted by her daddy today. What? She is just hungry all the time like her mama used to be! Good thing the dog treats were almost all gone from the container when she got ahold of it this morning!

Had To Shop

My husband and I will be traveling to eastern AZ for our niece's burial and I have nothing to wear for it. It isn't exactly dress or skirt weather there this time of year and all of my dress pants are quite literally falling off of me. While I should be excited about shrinking another size and buying a pair of size 14's, the reason behind the shopping trip pretty much puts a damper on any celebration.

This weekend I did a closet cleanout and really need to get rid of clothing. I would like to give others who may be unable to afford shopping in between sizes the chance to have smaller clothes, so I will start posting articles of clothing next week. The only thing I will request is that whoever claims items please pay for shipping...I have a lot to get rid of and it will certainly add up. Not sure when I will post again, but it likely won't be until next week, so I hope you all have a blessed week and weekend!

Sad Week For My Family

We had what turned out to be the worst Valentine's Day ever on Tuesday. My sister-in-law, who was pregnant with her first child, went in for her 38 week appt on Tuesday, about an hour after receiving the gift we mailed out for our future niece. At her appointment they discovered that her baby girl had no heartbeat. After 24+ hrs of what must have been the most emotionally painful labor, a beautiful daughter, granddaughter, great granddaughter, niece and cousin was stillborn at 6:45 last night.

One of the volunteer photographers from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep went to the hospital and did a photo shoot for the family...I am oh so thankful that there is an organization out there that does this for families who have experienced such a painful loss. I will be remembering them for donations in the future.

I am heartbroken for my SIL and her husband. All we can do at this point is be there for emotional support and pray for them because they could use all of the prayers and good thoughts that can be offered.

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiightttttttt Valentine's Day

I had a bad stuck episode last night and now have to suffer through the swelling that accompanies those lovely incidents. I am SUPER tight this morning. I'll just keep sipping on my warm liquids in the hope that it will help settle things down so I can actually consume solid food today. Red Robin, yummmmm.

Hubby is going to the FAA to do some paperwork in order to start A&P school (to get his license since he has 15+ yrs experience on aircraft) and so since he is going to be close by, we are going to do lunch together. It isn't technically a V-Day thing, just something we do when he is close by. We don't partake in the hoopla that surrounds 2/14...we do special things throughout the year to make sure we never feel unappreciated in our marriage. All relationships should be the same!

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you wonderful followers. Hope you have a great day, no matter what you do!

Gym Tomorrow, Take Two

Yes, I know I said I was going tonight but that was before I ate 3 bites of dinner and got stuck. Stuck like I have never been stuck before. I was stuck for 2 hrs and finally had to make it PB its way back up. Now I am so swollen that I can barely drink water. Ugh...I hate when that happens! So it is off to bed to make a gym appt first thing in the morning. Think I can get a little gym love in on Valentine's Day? I need to!!

Tomorrow Tomorrow, I'm Sure I Won't Love You Tomorrow

Tomorrow starts my regular gym routine again. Son is finished with basketball so we are going to be going to the gym together after I get home from work. My hubby hates going at night, but we will see if we can change that. I NEED to get active and kick-start my loss again as well as tight up areas that are getting scary.

We attended a friend's wedding last night and I actually felt pretty. Below is a photo that my son took of me before we left. Not the best shot, but it shows my pretty new size 14 dress. I also chopped my hair yesterday. Not too drastic, but got rid of about 6 inches of nasty, broken off, split end infused hair on my head. It also feels good to be rid of all that extra weight on my head...no more headaches! Now if only I could have my hair back to normal so I can get rid of the devil horns I have with my regrowth.

How Quickly Things Can Change

Yesterday we were moving to AZ in June, our house was going to be packed up in a month, my husband was leaving for his new job in a week, and I was obsessing over Pinterest ideas for our new home.

This morning everything was turned upside-down. My husband is not going to be working for this company now. We are not moving where we planned to. Our lives are kind of up in the air, but I am not as devastated as I think I should be. Does this mean that down deep I had a bad feeling of possibilities for our future? Perhaps, but I believe that God has a plan for us and obviously what we thought was ideal for us wasn't meant to be. I am keeping an open mind and trying to stay positive, but I do ask for prayers for my family during this potentially difficult time.

One thing I can say, I am very happy that I have a party to do tonight after work to cheer me up!

New Slider Discovery

Fried pickles. I had a bad craving for fried pickles today so I went to BWW for lunch. I ordered a Naked Tenders kids meal and got the side pickles as well. I ate my chicken first (actually only 1 1/2 of the 3 tenders because I started to get full) and went to town on the pickles. Those suckers go right through and I ate half of the appetizer. Ruh roh. Won't be getting those again for a very long time. Guess who is going to be having a protein smoothie for dinner tonight?

I had to laugh, but also found my lunch description rather obscene. LOL

I Drank The Koolaid

I am now slightly addicted to Pinterest. It may become a sickness. The worst part? Most of my pins are for food. Good thing I found other things to obsess over because the food items I pinned are things I can't even eat! My son and husband will benefit from it though :-)

However, I am venturing into more areas and have discovered many awesome ideas for our new home and super cute outfits. Fun!

36 Weeks Post-Op (With Pictures)

Yesterday was spent in the car...all day. We left our house at 7:00 a.m. and got home at 9:00 p.m. Being in the car all day means not drinking a ton so you don't have to use the restroom every 10 minutes. I think I only drank 30 oz of water all day. Well, my body doesn't approve of such a lack of fluids and LOVES to punish me by retaining, retaining, retaining. I was up 4 lbs this morning from Sunday morning. Guess who is getting all of her water in today?? It is mind boggling to see what my body is capable of.

I was late with getting these posted since 36 weeks actually occurred on Friday, but here are the latest photos. I don't see any difference myself. I'm noticing that the further out from surgery I get, the less of a difference I see with my progress. Maybe I need to wait longer to do progress photos to not get discouraged. Maybe I need to get my lazy behind to the gym so I see more progress when it is photo time. Maybe.

Today's photos on top, last month's below. I have to point out the crazy batch of hair sticking out of my head (on the top, right next to the end of the frame). That is some of my regrowth that drives me bonkers!! I have hair sticking out all over my head, but I am happy that it is starting to come back in.

Caucus Day and Anxiety

Today was the Nevada Caucus and it was my first one. It was an experience to say the least. I have always voted, but this was something fun to be a part of as well. It was also the last political event I will be a part of in Nevada. When I came home my husband had started tearing down his workbenches and such in the garage so a friend could take them to his house. We went to Home Depot to pick some things for the house (to start getting it ready for our move) and I started to have an anxiety attack. It is really hitting me today that we are moving. The reason I bring this up is because I have always been a stress eater. I have noticed that since I don't stress eat anymore I get anxious much easier. Having to learn to deal with life since surgery is a daily struggle, but it something I work on constantly.

NSV (But Could Have Been Bad)

I washed my hands this afternoon and the paper towel dispenser decided I needed about 10 towels to dry my hands. Thank God I looked at my hands before I tossed the towels into the trash because my wedding ring was in there!! I was a sight to see in the bathroom scattering out paper towels on the counter in the hunt for my ring. So good thing? My fingers are getting skinny...but I need to watch myself until I get this ring sized down!

New Food Obsession

Oh Yeah? Oh Yeah. I bought these meal replacement bars at my surgeon's office and LOVE them. One bar has between 26-30 grams of protein, roughly 13 grams of fat and 300 calories, but they taste SO good and they are filling! I actually took 2o minutes to eat each of them. Perfect for a meal on the go without worrying about PBing and you will get your protein requirements in with these bad boys! I ate one for breakfast yesterday and had another for dinner (wasn't feeling the cooking thing last night and avoided the drive through) and then I had one for breakfast this morning. My favorite is the one that you can see torn open on the bottom, the chocolate caramel...it tastes just like a Snickers bar but not too sweet. I love.

My appointment yesterday wasn't too eventful. Walked in, was complimented by my liason who was working the front desk yesterday morning ("Girl, you are getting so skinny! Slow down!!) and that was awesome, sat down, got weighed (which really ticked me off because their scale weighed me 4 lbs more than my own did...had nothing to do with the fact that I was fully clothed or anything), waited for the PA, spoke with him for about 2 minutes and was done. No fill needed. I am happy at my current sweet spot. Not going to see them again for 6 weeks since I am doing well, but if I get to the point I am trying to eat everything in sight I am supposed to give them a call. My official weight loss since my last appt was 9 lbs, which seemed low to me, but I go based on my own scale at home, so it is all good. When I get near my goal I will focus on the doctor's scale reading, because that will be the one that matters. All in all, things are great!

Happy Hump Day!

Who Knew Shopping Could Be FUN?!

I think, for the first time ever, I had the MOST fun shopping for clothes today! I went dress shopping for a friend's wedding in a few weeks and had a blast! My boys were with me and they were even tolerable. Gave me their opinions and told me how good I looked....that helps :-) I don't think I have ever felt so pretty trying on clothes. I was proud to walk out of the fitting room to model for my guys. Even the fitting room attendant was complimenting me!

When we walked into the store I went straight to the misses dresses (no more women's section!) and started looking at 12's and 14's. I plucked out 3 dresses that I liked and tried them on. I absolutely LOVE the dress I picked out. It is colorful and a little sassy. No sleeves (which I never would have done before) and hits just below the knee. With a pair of heels and some fun jewelry, it will be perfect! I will post a photo after the wedding. I can't wait to get dressed up and pretty...it has been a while! I can totally get used to this :-D

8 Month Bandiversary

And I weighed in today at 205. That is 70 lbs gone in 8 months. Makes for a happy Michelle!! I am just a hop, skip and a jump away from onederland and I can't wait!! I need to keep focused on what I am doing and I will definitely be down 100 lbs by my 1 year. My goal weight is 105 down from where I started (170) so once I get below 199, I will see how achievable that is going to be.

I have been having some tummy issues and so my husband hasn't gotten much love from me the past few days. This morning I was getting ready for work and he came to hug me. He wrapped his arms all the way around me and had my sides in his hands (even after his arms were crisscrossed behind my back). I don't recall him ever being able to do that, so that was huge for me this morning....and it felt good to be held by him like that for so long :-)

I Exercised!!

I know I shouldn't be so excited to post something about that since it should be a daily occurrence, but it isn't. Honestly? I have not worked out regularly in over 3 months. I will walk on my mom's treadmill once or twice a week but that is about it....and after looking in the mirror this morning I see that the serious need for gym time is HERE!! I am hanging. Like, literally. My boobs hang, my tummy hangs and now my ass is even starting to hang. I'm not hangin' tough here. I feel frumpy and not so pretty naked.

So lay it on me....what are your favorite exercises and what helped you when you started to see that you were starting to swing low?? I need suggestions, stat!!! Need to create a workout regimen this weekend.

State of the Union

I had no intention on watching this tonight because of my personal opinions on the state of our country, however, when our friends Dan & Harmonie Meyer received a phone call from Shelley Berkley's office inviting him to be her guest at the SOTU, I said I will DEFINITELY be watching to see if I can catch a glimpse of him in the audience!! This is SUCH a big deal!!

I have blogged about Dan before. He is the author of DanielMeyerBlog.com and a dear friend of my husband and I. He is fighting the battle of his life now that he is out of the Air Force. Dan was medically discharged after only 6 years of service. He was exposed to the toxic burn pits overseas in Iraq & Afghanistan and is now wheelchair bound and on oxygen 24/7. He is creating a non-profit organization for disabled vets and wants to do as much good as he can. He and his wife are amazing and so very strong. I am so happy for them to have this opportunity to go to Washington D.C. and speak to our leaders about his cause. He is going to make some incredible connections and I know they will be able to move forward with their amazing cause!! Today he was featured in the Las Vegas Review Journal AND on the front page of his hometown paper the Toledo Blade.

Please take a few minutes to read Dan's blog and share him on yours as well. It would be greatly appreciated by all, and you never know the difference you could make for someone else.

I Love The Internets :-)

I am still not a Pintrest freak...simply because I have not yet spent much time on it. Why? Because I am scared to! Everyone I know is addicted to it! However, I spend HOURS every week on Chef Tess Bakeress's blog because she is a freaking genius!! Seriously, she has the best ideas for recipes, food storage, meal plans, you name it! Check her out. There are some recipes that aren't very band friendly, but you can tweak them like I do or just make them for others. I LOVE her 52 Method. Meals made ready for a year. What else could make life easier??

Tonight's Dinner

I have a girlfriend who posted a recipe she was making last week and I HAD to try it out just based on the picture. Holy Moly. It was one of the most incredible chicken dishes I have ever had!! The recipe link is here and if you like bacon, chicken and bbq sauce, you must make it!! Super easy prep and cooking was in the crockpot. I didn't cook mine for 8 hrs like this said because I started it at 1:00. Put it on for 2 hours on high and then cooked it for 4 hrs on low. Served it with some fresh corn and it was such a wonderful meal! I think I am most excited that I have half still for lunch tomorrow. It was flavorful and super moist tonight, so lets hope it stays that way for tomorrow! I will be devastated if I can't finish eating it tomorrow.

Today's Theme? Food.

That seemed to be all I was thinking about this morning...actually this weekend. Hubby and I went grocery shopping this weekend and it was not a pretty site. We dropped $145 at Sam's Club yesterday and $115 at the store this morning. A lot of the things we bought are going to actually be for NASCAR. We do a Tailgating Extravaganza when we have NASCAR weekend here in Vegas. Since this will likely be our last race here, we are doing it good again. It actually works out with timing because Super Bowl food sales are perfect for what I stock up for in our group (soda, chips, brats, etc). Basically everything that I can't consume now. It will be interesting this year, that's for sure. I usually gain 5 lbs over NASCAR weekend so this year it will be nice not to. Food won't be the focus for me as it usually is. I can't wait to do my comparison photo for that weekend. I looked back at our photos from last year and, of course, was slightly disgusted. Here is one of the pictures from last year.
I'm smiling, as usual. Was I happy? Of course I was! But to look back I just cringe that I did that to myself.

Anyway, I am excited to prep for this year. We always have a blast over this weekend!! I am usually ready for our tailgating weekend a month in advance. I'm not a planner or anything.

This morning we were at the store and I wanted to eat everything in sight...not that I can, but I wanted to. Something crazy came over me when we were going through the frozen food aisle. When we passed the pies I grabbed a coconut cream pie and a cheesecake. Then when we came to the ice cream, I saw the Girl Scout cookie flavors and grabbed a Samoa flavored 1/2 gallon, a Touchdown Sundae 1/2 gallon (vanilla ice cream with fudge swirls and caramel filled footballs), and then the hubby grabbed triple chocolate peanut butter something or other. My comment to him was that I must be PMSing because I wanted all of these sweets! Came home and low and behold, my monthly visitor made its arrival. Now I have all of these crazy, amazing desserts in my house and I am scared to go in the kitchen. Dummy.

Health Insurance Nightmare

I have been spoiled for the past 4 1/2 yrs with having my health care paid for 100%. My husband has been spoiled for 16 yrs (the amount of time he was in the Air Force). Now reality sets in with him becoming a civilian. Our TriCare coverage runs out in March so we will have to pay for health insurance again. I NEVER abused our coverage as some people do...only went to the doctor if we were very ill or if our son decided to break something. I did have my surgery covered because of the medical issues that went along with my obesity. I didn't go every time we had the sniffles. I think that is because before I met my husband I had to pay for health coverage and all the joys that go along with it (deductibles, co-pays, etc) so I never abused it. So to those military friends that we have, better be grateful for what you are given!! We are going to be paying over $500/month for family health insurance when our TriCare coverage ends. Holy shit. Top that off with a $3000 deductible and all of the other co-pays and crap. I want to vomit.

With me being the only one working in my house, I better get selling more lotions, potions and toys to cover that! Who wants to have a party? ;-)

Damn Greek Food

I love it so. I mean, I could probably live on the stuff. So the fact that there is an amazing Greek food place across the street from my office doesn't help matters. I did okay with my eating over the weekend, but yesterday was kind of a junk food fest meshed with chili for dinner and then cherry cobbler for dessert. What a good bandster I am. :-/

Today I was craving hummus. My PIC and I walked across the street and to the Greek food place. I should have only brought enough money for the hummus, but I didn't, so I proceeded to order half of the menu. Okay, not quite, but I got a gyro as well. It was so good that I ate half of it. OVER half!! Ugh. I was so full but kept stuffing my freaking face because it tasted so good. Then I ate 2 pieces (well, 1 whole piece) of pita with hummus and it happened. STUCK!! Painfully stuck at that. My PIC is used to seeing my "stuck face" but others haven't really had the pleasure. It is funny to see them react to my face and now 2 others know "the look."

Tomorrow I have an appt at my surgeon's office and am really mad that I ate the way I did because I wanted a spectacular number on the scale. Now I will have to settle for mediocre. Dummy.

Note to Self, Knives Are Sharp

I fileted my thumb last night when making dinner. I was cutting lettuce for our Navajo tacos and sliced the crap out of my thumb in the process! I need lessons from my chef friends. Hubby and I spent a few hours in the ER but fortunately I didn't need stitches because of how I cut it...it went more sideways than down. They fixed me up with some DermaBond and gave me a tetanus shot. Strange thing is that I don't have a sore arm this morning. The nurse told me that they are different now and that most people say they don't have the soreness. Works for me!!

The morning after:

SO Excited

I posted before about my love of the Isopure Smoothie I was introduced to at my surgeon's office. Well, downstairs from my office is a nutrition/health supplement store. I saw the Isopure name on some powder and went in. Sure as shit they sell my smoothies...and for less than I get them at my surgeon's office! I ordered a case of them to be all stocked up and am super excited to get them. Now all I have to do is walk downstairs to get my fix :-)

Happy Freaky Friday the 13th!!

In honor of Friday the 13th, I walked under a mirror, let a ladder cross my path and broke a black cat.

It was a beautiful morning on the scale!!! 208.5!!!! Holy crap! That is 4 lbs in a week....and 11 lbs since the beginning of the year. I am only 38 lbs from my 1st goal weight!!! I am so close to being under 200 I can literally taste it, and it is so so sweet. Working the band baby.

I tossed another pair of my size 18's into the "too big" pile last night. It is funny that some are enormous while others still kind of fit. I am pretty much wearing my 16's full time now and that is an ego booster for me. I know I need to get some good use out of them since I bought so many, but I can't help but wish I was closer to getting into some 14's. I won't even torture myself with trying on any 14's until after I get below 200, but I remember that was the size I wore back when my husband and I met.

With cleaning out my closet once a month, I am thinking of putting some clothing options on here for people who may be looking for in-between sizes but can't afford to go shopping. If you would be interested in something like that, please let me know. I will keep you posted.

I have a friend who is getting married next month so I decided to go ahead and splurge on getting a new dress for that event. Good thing Ross is less than a mile from my house and they have great deals on dresses :-)

Hope you have a fantastic Friday!

Oh Happy Day

I can't wait to do my official WI tomorrow. Why? Because I have been a crazy scale stalker for the past week and know what I weighed this morning. I wanted to jump for joy but I may have broken the scale. I did actual exercise on Tuesday. While indulging in the horrible Teen Mom 2, I walked on my mom's treadmill and also did a good ab workout on her Ab Circle contraption. I felt pretty good that a workout on her treadmill, which used to leave me wanting to quit halfway through because of the changes in incline and speed, was somewhat easy for me and I was strong the entire time! Yay for getting into better shape!!

Looking Back

I have a long distance friend who is getting Lap Band today so I wanted to give a big shout out to her!! Good luck!! You're going to rock it!

With her getting surgery today, and she and I emailing each other last night, I was reflecting on how I felt the night before LB Day (Lap Band Day) and decided to look back at what I looked like the night before my surgery. I posted the pictures my mom took of me on the side of my blog. Holy shit. I need those to be there as a constant reminder of where I was and where I now am. Now, I will sit and bash my body day after day, but I have lost 65 lbs. I was heavier than I have EVER been when I finally made the decision to have surgery. 275 lbs is no laughing matter. Was I happy? Yes, but I was killing myself with food. I looked at the pictures and compared them to Saturday's pictures. I told my husband that I know he really does love me. When he asked where that came from, I responded that I can't believe he loved me when I was so heavy and obviously didn't love myself. I weigh less now than I did when we got married, but am 20 lbs away from what I weighed when we first met. How did I gain 85 lbs in 5 years? I can't even blame it on baby weight! I can make excuse after excuse, but no more. I am done with the excuses. Focus on the future baby.

Holy Hummus

I love hummus. One of my co-workers brought me and my PIC some hummus back from a Greek restaurant and it was To. Die. For. Holy monkey. I had to share a photo of its amazingness. This was today's lunch:


But the real reason I posted was to talk about portions. No, I did not eat all of this. I had 2 pita slices with about 3 tsp of the hummus and I was full. I mean FULL. This is a strange occurrence for me. I am filling up with practically nothing now. It is AMAZING!!! Yesterday at breakfast (at 8:30) I had 1 slice of bacon, 1/4 of a biscuit with gravy and 1/2 of the egg from my eggs benedict. Full. I couldn't eat again until 3:00. I don't know if this is because of being sick or if I am finally listening to my body and not pushing it, but I am loving every minute of it. However, yesterday at breakfast I wanted so badly to be able to finish eating everything because it was so good. I was sad/upset because I was full. My head wanted more but my body said "I don't think so." Me thinks I have some work to do on my "dependence" of food. Time to start looking at it as fuel as opposed to how good something is. Only question is, how long will that take?

Happy Monday!!

I am feeling today a little more confident about possibly meeting my 199 goal by the end of the month. Last Monday I weighed in after the holidays and saw 219, which was met with a string of expletives. I was excited by my weight of 212 on Saturday, but was elated today when I stepped on the scale and saw 211. That is even with 2 days of eating real food. WOW! Can I lose 12 lbs in 22 days? If I get off my ass, stay focused and do what I am supposed to, I think I will come really close. Yay for motivation!!

32 Weeks Post-Op (With Pictures)

My 32 week bandiversary was actually yesterday, but since I have been sick I didn't do the pictures until this morning. I got on the scale and was very excited to see 212.6! I was 219 on Monday when we got home from our trip to AZ so I am glad that I got rid of the excess water weight that always happens when we travel. I decided to switch my monthly photo clothes to skin tight for the next 5 months to help inspire me to zero in on my goal weight by May. See, that's me, putting it all out there for you!! This month's photo is on the top, last month is below.